Fossils Suck

TRANSCRIPT:
Lance:  Nicole,
Pangea is the biggest and most boring thing in the whole freaking world.  Fossils are terrible sucky.  This is really boring.  So how are you?  Who do you like?  Just wondering.  You know I ask everyone.  I know what Deana is getting me for my birthday.  She is getting me a pooh bear doll and a balloon.  She wants me to look gay carrying it around all day.  Lori is a freak.
-anyways-
I think spiffilicious would have been a good name.  I'm the host in my group.  I'm with a bunch of shy people.  W*G*G
Love ya,
Lance
Lori:  Lance is weird.



What a hateful thing to say about Earth's most recent super-continent.  What did Pangea ever do to him?  Other than break up and create the continents as we know them today.  I mean, if Pangea hadn't begun to rift 200 million years ago, perhaps that asteroid would have hit over water instead of land, and the destruction might not have been as bad.  Dinosaurs would have had a better chance of surviving, leaving little chance for the small mammals that were around at the time to evolve into humans.  Dinosaurs would still rule, humans would not exist, Lance wouldn't have had to carry a pooh-bear doll around school all day, and we wouldn't have to spend November 6, 2012 dodging a bunch of hateful, immature FB posts about how poor and stupid Democrats are or how spoiled and misogynistic Republicans are.

Shit, I guess maybe Lance had a point...