He's Still Fine, Though

TRANSCRIPT:
Nicole (Me):   5/16 - I think
Lindsey, Wusuper?  Not much here.  Just sitting in English. I am so bored.  I have no clue what I am doing tonight.  We are watching the Diary of Anne Frank.  It sucks!  Who do you like now?  I like William & Ray!  Chase is such a jerk!  He has no right to start stupid-ass rumors about people!  He's still fine, though!!!  Actually, we are not watching Anne Frank because Sanders hid it in his bag (we have a sub)!  I don't have much more to say, so i am going to "bid my adieu's"!
G/G
WRITE BACK
Love, Nicole K.



Amazing the things we'd let a guy get away with... if he was fine enough.  Hey, I have a joke for you.  What does The Diary of Ann Frank and my hairdryer have in common?  They both BLOW!  Luckily Sanders was there to rescue us from boredom with his shenanigans, on this day - 5/16... I think. I guess it was really hard to tell what day it was in the time before cell phones.  Calendars hadn't been invented yet, so we were forced to go by memory.  Or just the sheer luck of writing a date down and hoping it's right.  What cavemen we were!  PS, how bad was I at giving people the notes I wrote them?!?!

Spif-a-licious

TRANSCRIPT:
Andrew:   Nicole, Hey wuz up?  Well I'm really "very" bored in History right now so I wanted to write you this spif-a-licious note.  Anyways, are you looking forward to the dance tomorrow?  I am.  Guess what?!  I might get a sugar glider.  It's kinda like a little flying hamster.  So how is Casper?  Well, running out of words to write so write back sometime.
- Andrew
SMILE TODAY!



Sugar gliders:  They're like little flying hamsters... that screech at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night because they are loud-as-shit nocturnal mini-beasts!  If you aren't expecting it, it's the most frightening sound you've ever heard.  Plus, Andrew already had a pet ferret so that sounded like quite a menagerie of pets to have in one home.  Not sure he he ended up getting one but I hope he didn't, for the sake of his family and neighbors (and overall sanity).  I mean, I can't think of a less-spif-a-licious pet out there.  Well, running out of words to write so I'll go now...

The Best Thing In The Whole Entire World

TRANSCRIPT:
Becky: Dear Nicole, Hey girlfriend, I feel like we're growing apart so I decided to write you a long letter!  So how have you been?  Pretty good, I hope.  I cannot wait until Friday when we go to the movies.  I hope our guys come!!  I really want Mary and Carey to get back together and I want Denise to get back together with Chase and then (I have this whole thing thought out if you didn't notice) I want Brad to ask out Katey and then Jessie is already going out with John so that's one thing taken care of and then Ryan to ask out you and then finally, I want JOE to ask out me!  That would be like the best thing in the whole entire world!  I love you so much and I really don't want you to move.  It will be so sad!  Well, I really want to do something with you on Friday night so does that sound good?  I wouldn't worry about Katey and all of that!!  Well I really don't want to go but I really have to!!!!  Love ya babe, now and forever even when you move.
Love always and forever, Becky



Dang, girlfriend!  That sure was a lot of enthusiasm - especially for such a specific string of scenarios that totally never happened.  In fact that whole story ends with me being an asshole and then moving to Georgia, leaving a trail of ex-friends behind me.  What can I say?  7th grade Nicole was scrawny and awkward and always thought people were mad at her.  8th grade Nicole started taking her breakfast with a dash of confidence.  Post 8th grade/pre 9th grade Nicole had one too many self-esteem burritos and started shitting "bitch bricks" all over the place.  And 9th grade Nicole?  Let's just say being the new girl your first year of high school will put a girl in her place REAL QUICK. 

Pinching _ _ _ _ From Our Sisters

TRANSCRIPT:
Nicole:  Nicole, Hey, was up?  Not much here just sitting next to you!  Do you really want me to spend the night because if you don't I won't.  Who do you like?  I like someone, I will tell you later!  Okay!  Who is taking you home today after school?  I am going to look for the _ _ _ _ in my sister's room.  Ask your sister's friend if she will get you anything OKAY?!
BYE
PS - Write Back
P.P.S. - Call me tonight.  LYLAS
Love ya,
Nicole



This is a pretty funny story.  We were always talking about stealing some _ _ _ _ from our sisters (even though we were still trying to figure out how to inhale a cigarette), but we could never find their stash.  So one day Nicole stays at my house and starts telling me how she heard you could get high off of dried banana peels.  Sounds legit, right?  Only we were in seventh grade and had absolutely no idea what that really meant.  So we thumb tacked some banana peels to my wall and blow-dried them - how else would you speed-dry a banana peel? - and then rolled them up like a yoga mat and tried to light the ends to smoke them.  Take a second to really picture this scenario...........................................

We were f*ing idiots. 

Merry Christmas From The Kennings

TRANSCRIPT:

Natalie:  Hey, I will probably come over to spend the night on Friday.  Give me a letter and call me!  After I get to your house we can decorate it with Christmas lights.

I’m planning on bordering my room with the changing pattern ones.  Hey, is your mom taking us to six flags and when?!

W-B-S

Natalie

PS – We can rent a movie and go to the gas station.

Rent a movie and go to the gas station?!  L-O-S-E-R-S!  And PS - I hated our Christmas lights!  Our house was gray and my parents insisted on putting up nothing but over-sized RED lights!  So ugly.  Not to mention the ENORMOUS wooden snowman cutout my mom would put out in the front yard that read “Merry Christmas from The Kennings”.  Ewww, please don’t advertise to the whole neighborhood that I live in the house with the weird red lights and the tacky wooden snowman.  Em-BAR-assing!  I think the only thing worse than our Christmas display was the Easter display – some giant “lolly-pops” lined the sidewalk with a creepy wooden bunny rabbit cutout in the yard.  Sometimes I see that bunny in my dreams.  Staring at me.  Haunting me.

3-Way Calling

TRANSCRIPT:

Jesse:  Nicole, wussuper?  Nothing much here.  How is your life?  Mine is fine.  What Pedro said was that he wouldn’t not want you to go out with Shane.  Because that’s what he (Pedro) thought.  I told you it wasn’t important.

*Anyways*

Last night Robert called me and told me to call Nicole on 3-way so I could find out what she did behind my back.  She played the biggest trick on me.  She had Courtney on the other line.  She heard me say “Robert” before she clicked over.  She came back and Robert asked her if she did anything behind my back and she said yes.  That made me mad and the whole time she was on the line she pretended that she didn’t know I was on the line.  Then Robert asked her who she did it with and she said Jacob.  And she went on and on and right before she hung up she said “Hi, Jesse” and hung up.  God, before she said “Hi, Jesse” I was so pissed off.  I will tell you the rest later. 

*Anyways*

Do you still not know who you like?  I like a few people, maybe I will tell you later.  W/G/G  - Jesse

PS – You still owe me what you said last time you wrote me.

Ah, yes… the ol’ “call them on 3-way and get them to talk shit” trick.  When I saw Mean Girls for the first time I almost cried at that part, thinking of all the times I fell for it.  Lost a lot of good friends back then…

*Anyways*

I'm just glad there's no longer an easy way for kids share the crap others say about them with each other.  Can you imagine handing to a bunch of teenagers the power to talk shit and start rumors to the masses?!  How awful!  I mean, it would literally create a generation of conniving assholes like we've never seen.  Bullet dodged, right?!

Baby JNCO's

TRANSCRIPT:

Lindsey:  Nicole, wussuper?  Not much at all here!  I went to four malls over the weekend!  I went to Valley View, North East Mall, Six Flags Mall and Vista Ridge.  It was cool.  My little brother Travis got baby JNCO’s.  It’s so cute!  I’ll miss you soooooo much!  J/J, I won’t miss you at all!  J/J, I’ll miss you a lot!  I’m sorry if I have been mean or rude to you the past week and today!  I’ve just had a lot of things go on.  I’ve had a lot of hard choices I’ve had to make and I’ve lost some friends over it.  Stuff like that.  Love always, Lindsey

Baby JNCO’s?!  That DOES sound cute!  Can't imagine going to all those malls in one weekend, though.  It's like taking a two-day tour of the DFW shit-roplex before all the cool stuff was built.  Oh well, I’m sure it was a nice break from all the “stuff” Linz had going on.  8^th grade can be so stressful!